The Indian Woman - a perspective from previous studies
'Class-Consciousness'
- Each strata perceives other classes
from its own vantage ,,,invariably own sec seen as
the nucleus of society.
Need for conformity and application within own class critical - While
at the same time distancing themselves from the lower classes, and the
'snobbery'
perceived of the upper classes
[ie. less likely to aspire to move-instead, strive to be one-up in own
neighbourhood]
'Gender-Bias'
- Lower class atrocities horrify her as a mother…
A source of envy: That woman of own social strata who is happy with one
or two daughters.
What's more, so's her husband and other family members.
- Justify presence of mixed gender peer groups in college as 'safer for
the girls'!
Money Earned By Self:
- Important for the accompanying warm glow of success and independence
rather than the money
per se. Less likely to spend this money on self.(On the other hand, 'savings'
perceived threatening
to husband)
Hence, aim to save husband's earnings, and thereby his ego… diplomatically
get him to purchase her prized item (sari/ jewellery etc)
Peer Groups
- Invariably change at marriage
- Circles created anew post marriage
- More prestige at stake when dealing with husband's friend's
wives.
Nuclear Families
- Are merely a physically separated unit, still overwhelmingly
influenced by extended family.
- In fact, to B Sec, 'living separately' away from a subsequent atmosphere
with elders- a treasured aspiration.
[Not so, the husband who is distanced from family undercurrents
A Quantitative Survey result: 78% of women against joint family, whereas
42% of men in favour!]
- The woman well aware of his opinion; her life characterized
by canny diplomacy
Fall out; Woman gives primacy to the conjugal relationship- while he is
less
bothered, and would love to see is parents and his family together.
- Mother in law-Daughter in law relationship continues in all its stereotypical
& turbulent glory.
In contrast father in law- daughter in law tone mellow, gentle and easy.
Is Honeymoon History?
"Whenever he gets me a
surprise gift, I love it even if I don't like it"
- Like to recapture moments {have him take her to old
courtship haunts; give her quick stolen hugs]
- Loves him in his self sacrificing persona
Also, 'when he lends a ear to children's complaints about her,' is a moment
of bonding
- Emotive moment : Entire family visits Dad at his office
: Seen as a modern & contemporary family - breaking old norms & values
[showing off office to family; family to office staff].
Ethnocentrism Continues-But Regional rather than Local
- Satellite TV has brought a closer interaction with various
(vernacular) cultures, and cross
country influences.
Thus, a Bengali bride now wants a Kanjeevaram whereas her South Indian
counterpart seeks
a Banarasi sari, Punjabi women want 'shermukh' Bengali kadas,' while Bengali
women want
the mangalsutra.
- After the advent of Hinglish in the mid 1990s, the wheel
has come full circle to dual (and not khichdi) languages- the ability
to speak more than one language fluently [a la Amitabh Bachchan
in KBC]- and this is seen as an essentially & uniquely an Indian phenomenon.
A Sign of the Changing Times
Women-even in semi urban areas, are open to new and famous
brands as they seek something different from the norm. [eg. Don't want a
refrigerator, but in case purchase, will go for Samsung, LG !]
Paradoxes In Her Life
- Housework
is Work-
Low Status ['Glorified Servant']
versus
Housework is Homemaker
['mistress of the house'/ 'role of mother']
- Craving
for an independent identity
versus
Own needs secondary to that of family
- Arranged
Marriage['Adjustments/ reduced Expectations' leading to reduced disappointment
in partner']
versus
A more emotively charged courtship period in Love Marriage; Also, in an
increasingly impersonal world, husband- wife bonds becoming closer, expectations
higher.
- Close and
Intense bonds with children that are anchors in her life
Versus
Widening Generation gap as child grows and starts consciously distancing
from her.
- Seek expensive
(read chunky) jewellery during own wedding,
but also want multiple units of regular wear versatile jewellery.
- Gravitates
towards 'Gold' due to perceived easy liquidity
Yet sees 'selling of gold' as a rare/last option.
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